Blog Missions Posted November 20, 2022

Someone once told me "Don't worry about your gifts, because you are the gift." It took me a while, but I finally see their point.

How even...?

I was able to fly back down to Miami in October. What was originally a localized city service project immediately turned a regional restoration effort no thanks to Hurricane Ian. What I seen was heart-wrenching and something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. There was so much water, debris, and mold everywhere. But I've never seen churches become more alive -- providing food, water, and other supplies to those in need. I might not have been able to utilize my spiritual or creative gifts, but simply being there provided comfort and assurance to the many of the residents who had just gone through hell and back.

It made me reevaluate who I was at my warehouse job. I used to think of it as this figurative mountain of death where nothing emerges or returns. It's still so outside my element and so draining that I can never stay awake long after I end my shift. But even on my worst days, I'm still a semblance of light to somebody, and I still end up having meaningful conversations that give some of my coworkers the push they need to power through their day. Lord knows that there have been a few who helped power me through, and all they needed was a listening ear and an open heart. I've been feeling so grateful that I've been writing letters regularly to them.

But as surprising as it has been to see hope stem from seemingly hopeless places, perhaps it's even more surprising to find discouragement in the one place that's supposed to be encouraging. Where you and your gifts are supposed to be appreciated. Where its elect can tell the difference between being on a roll and simply spinning their wheels. It's never easy to cut your losses and step away from everything you know and have poured your heart into, but there still are plenty of other churches today who don't know the true nature of the enemy. Satan isn't trying to turn us into villains; he's trying to turn us into mush. We should never, ever, EVER be like "Meh, we might do that thing later..." in a place that's supposed to be doing things.

The difference between who I am now and who I was two and a half years ago is that I know what I'm worth, what I'm supposed to do, and where I should be casting my pearls. I thank the C&MA LEAD program for opening my eyes to that and for opening some doors in my ministry. The time has now come for me to lead by example and take those next steps.

It may be very dark and lonely, but we have a God who knows of a far deeper level than we can ever imagine.


Alright, so I may have had a little fun on my last trip...