Life Story God Moments Posted August 14, 2021

As a kid growing up in church, it was easy for me to believe that God was all good, all loving, and within all of creation. I didn’t have much reason to doubt otherwise, at least at first.

Me and my parents were pretty well off, but we had many friends and family members to fall on in times of trouble. Not that I had any concept of what trouble was or when it had struck, because I was homeschooled and was living a heavily sheltered life. Perhaps that’s partly why the appeal of attending Sunday services was lost on me. I may have appreciated God, but I was surrounded by people that were worshipping Him with everything they had. For a long time, I wondered what I was missing.

I believe my pre-conversion story is like the story of Adam and Eve. They saw that God was good, but obviously not enough to obey Him. It was when sin and darkness entered the world that they saw how good the Lord really was. Sure enough at the turn of the millennium, my parents divorced and I was jolted out of my protective bubble. I started to believe that goodness was largely subjective and didn't seem to matter all that much in this world. Whatever faith I had in God completely fell apart, and I stopped going to church altogether. Suddenly removed from many of my friends and much of my family circle, my living situation became substantially worse. I was bullied so much in public schools that I contemplated suicide multiple times. This was the lowest point of my life, and the only thing that prevented me from ending it all was... well, what if I was wrong? What if I still wasn’t seeing the whole picture?

It was November 16, 2002 when I made a decision for Christ. That was when a particular episode of Inuyasha debuted, featuring a character who was a lot like me... bitter, angry, and full of regret. But by the time she realizes her mistake, it's too late. She becomes helpless in her struggle to break free from the chains dragging her into hell. Of all things, this pushed me over the fence and made me go back to church the following week.

Since then, I have gained a much better understanding of why many Christians worship... or pray, or talk about God all the time, or read the Bible so much, and so on. Isaiah 9:2 states that those who walked in darkness have seen a great light. I'm doing all these things now, not because I have to, but because I want to. Because I'm attracted to Him. Because I delight in Him.

You see... God is more than just an idea or a notion; He’s as every bit as real as you and me. The perfect eternal harmony of the Trinity was disrupted so that God the Son could crush our sin, take our punishment, and give us His own righteousness. If, somehow, you are reading this and are not saved... I pray today that my story pushes you over that fence. Because once God the Spirit takes up residence in you, you are adopted into His eternal family to live forever. Transferred from death to life. From darkness to light. Safe when you used to be condemned. Free when you used to be in slavery. That’s not to say your life won't run into any more trouble, but God says in the end you’ll see that it was all for your good and for His glory. There is no truer source of joy, love, pleasure, and fulfillment.

“The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel.”

- Jesus (Mark 1:15) -