Blog God Moments Cartoon Posted July 20, 2021

I really was not sure what to expect when I enrolled in the Christian and Missionary Alliance LEAD program one year ago.

This will come back to haunt me, I know it.

In fact, I was not expecting anything at all. I think I signed up because I tried to carve a career out of nearly every other job field out there. Even so, this was my third attempt at ministry. Did I really believe this would finally work out? Did I believe in anything in my life would work out? Of course not. But when my instructor “sensed a great deal of hurt” just from me revealing some basic information about myself, I thought maybe – just maybe – this would not be a complete waste of time. Maybe I was finally going to get some answers.

And so, I played along for about a year. The curriculum had some good stuff, but I did not find it to be particularly challenging. The in-person discussions were deep and insightful, but never quite scratched my itch to know what the next step in my faith was. I became increasingly frustrated until things came to a head late into my second semester, when the real me was finally on display for everyone to bask in the glory of all my problems and existential dread.

As it turns out, my next step in my faith was pretty much the first step to following Jesus: Turn to Him.

My mind fought with this for a while. Like, duh… what do you think I have been doing this whole time? I pray to Him daily and I serve Him every chance I can. But then I realized – have I been doing all this because I must or because I want to? Am I attracted to Him? Do I delight in Him? How could I feel this insecure about my future considering all that He has done for me?

These were the hard questions that made me take pause and reevaluate my relationship. I questioned whether the Jesus I was worshipping was the one revealed by Scripture, and the answer was simply no. My idea of my Heavenly Father was basically Angry Dad, and my idea of Jesus was more of a mix of John Lennon, Zig Ziglar, Bernie Sanders, and the genie from Disney’s Aladdin. These versions of God do not exist, so of course they would not be real to me. And so, in my sincerest of prayers, I asked Him to make Himself real to me. I asked that He would be more than a notion, and that I can trust Him and what He says. He did not disappoint.

During the few months after I left my dead-end job, God has supplied my wife and I with a bunch of loving and supporting people. I ended up rediscovering my passions with many of my God-given gifts, and as a result have been able to make new friends and help launch them toward greater things. I really do believe that God has complete control of my life, and that I am exactly where I need to be in my ministry. My program will soon delve into making a Kingdom impact regionally and globally. I may not know how exactly that will pan out, but for the first time I am not worried about my future. For the first time, I am not desperately looking for answers. Because Jesus is the answer – and before His face, all questions die away.

What other answer could possibly suffice?

My mental health has been over the moon ever since I quit my job. To give you an idea just how bad it was, they still never found a proper replacement for me. What used to be a 24-hour store is only open for half as long now. For real, I have seen daycare centers stay open later.

In fact, I am constantly reading news stories about how employees have been leaving en masse at certain restaurants and stores. What is happening is a reckoning... where companies are being called out for making virtually no investment in people, and instead demand employees invest in them. I honestly hope it sticks around for a long time, and I hope actual JOBS end up popping up. Back in the day you could get hired at Sears, get benefits and a stake in the company, and watch your equity (along with your quality of life) grow over time. Large corporations did not necessarily adhere to a philosophy of ultimate Darwinism the way evil joints like Amazon do today.

So do not settle for any place that is just now offering extra wages and benefits, because it will all be taken from you once the charade is no longer necessary. Instead, look for a place that will pour as much into you as you pour into them. We all deserve better.

I have been doing a lot of random caricatures of people, and it has pretty much become my new low-key ministry.

How so? We live in a fallen world where money talks and nobody will typically help you unless there is something in it for them. That is why people are sometimes obligated to do something nice in return like tip me a few dollars or buy me a drink. But it is important that I refuse such things because it would ruin the point. For all I know, this may be the first (and/or possibly the last) time in their life that someone is deliberately choosing to lift them up – with no agenda, ulterior motive, or self-interest. Someone who is genuinely interested in them and wants them to experience joy long after the novelty has worn off. Almost as if I have experienced unmerited love and acceptance in my own life...

Anyway, here is a bunch that I did, and I will probably update this page as I draw more.

Happy COVID-free summer, everyone!