Life Story Cartoon Posted December 5, 2020

If what I drew back in my homeschool years gave you a head trip, you're in for a treat.

What you are about to see are, as far as I know, the very first illustrated stories I have ever made. These go all the way back to 1992, when I was merely five years old. There's a lot left to the imagination, so I'll do my best to interpret and give commentary on what's there.

Let's dive right in...


The Fish An Piay

I'm pretty sure the title is supposed to read The Fish Go Play or The Fish Goes To Play. Curiously, the fish is rainbow colored here but orange everywhere else.

One day a fish go to play.

This is the only page in this story without any spelling errors.

Along bood a policeman fishy. "Hy do you play for me?" She said "Y me?" She said "I getafood." "Ok you getafood." She wiak away.

That's how police are, right?

Along sea shell. "Hy do you play for me?" "No I look at 12345." "Ok."

A seashell looking at what appears to be a piece of paper with ascending numbers.

A boy sea a fish. "What is ylr name?" "Mmmm, Joo Joo." "Joo is vlr name? I get."

My grandmother (who I always pestered with my spell check needs) would often give me jujubes, which are old-timey gummy candy drops.


I think I wanted to include a starfish in my story. Seeing that the creatures aren't colored in, I was probably really eager to have this story finished.



This book was a homework assignment of sorts. I believe I was supposed to describe what my typical day was like.

2 days of school.

Not sure why there are yellow lines on the left. Sun rays, perhaps?

We rest on the resting bay and my dog.

My family never actually had a dog. I was given a stuffed animal which I named Johnny Crows. The inspiration either came from the band The Black Crowes, or a children's book by Leonard Leslie Brooke.

We play games and my Johnny Crows.

I played with this toy dog so much that it became concerning for my parents.

Mattis up the hin. We muve to a old house.

This was a really nice house tucked away in Canal Fulton, Ohio. Unfortunately, my parents would file for bankrupcy and move out the following year.

Bump Fump Hump Being Baing Jump Pump Bam Sam Cam Wam Fam down steps wow!

I loved sit-falling down the stairs. I stopped after breaking my left foot and right hand.

After all we get clolkoladdrs. It is two.

Something about getting or having a clock? I'm drawing a blank here.

One by one, the brakeing window is rake. Amanda brake.

I have a younger sister named Amanda, who was something of a wild child and was frequently embarrassing me. Also, the fact that Johnny was supposedly talking to me was pretty much when my parents intervened. I would never see that toy dog again.

At vacation, we play base ball at 1:30. It's fun to play. No school tomorrow.

I believe the person on the lower-left side with the curly hair and heart sweater is my late grandmother Helen. God rest her soul.

I liked the park. We eat lunch at 3:10.

That's a pretty late lunch. Still, minutes seemed like hours back in the day.

Cable VCR TV. We like TV video for toons. Daddy said for video is over TVCR will cut off. TV cable is VCR cables(,).

I'm thinking about basketball while watching Barney. I believe that's Baby Bop on the screen.

After TV wee play music at :79. It a song abuet Matts eat school like this.

Have you gotten used to the surrealism, yet? Even I can't make sense of it all, and I have nobody to blame but myself.

This story ends abruptly here, probably because my teacher stopped grading it. I really wish I had finished what I started, but that's what happens sometimes when children try to write long-form stories before they know what they're doing.

So, I did the next best thing... I made another story.

Same art style. Same computer paper. All to tie up the loose ends. It may be thirty years later, but I wouldn't be here if my younger self didn't believe my future self would thank me. So that's what I'm going to do. This will also serve as a message to my present self, so my future self (or rather, my future future self) will thank me.

I'll let the content speak for itself this time.